REFLECTIONS YARO: REINVENT YOUR LIFE

Dear Reader,

I am reflecting on the past year and the events that were special for the world and for all humanity. I am not repeating here the many bad and good things that we all lived through and probably will live in the same way in 2024, but I am, more interested here, is to promote a sense of self reflection as individuals that are living in the here and now.

My title for this blog is: REINVENT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE. Some people may say to you: “why bother? You are OK, and if you attempt a change, the result may be perilous” Then I may say: “Why not? What is the worst that can happen? Take a risk and grow!”

So, I am suggesting here a process that is rather simple if you take the suggestions and do your own thing. The task has two parts: one is a mental shift process, and the other is a body wellness process.

Mental shift process: It is well known by many therapies and cognitive skills to enhance your mind, that all people have a hooked or blocked lifestyle pattern called TRAPS. Here are some “traps” you may study and find the one you may be hooked to:

1. * Are you constantly drawn to relate to relationships that are toxic?

2. * Do you often feel unloved?

3. * Are you a helper type that helps others and not yourself?

4. * Are you being paranoid regarding disease? Any sore throat makes you feel like running to a doctor?

5. * Even if you are successful in your job and other things, do you feel unhappy an unfulfilled in life?

In order to stimulate your own reflections, be free here and now to imagine that one of those aspects written below are some of the traps you may be experiencing:

· Abandonment - this may have its roots in early childhood where you have developed a feeling that your parents have abandoned you and you were left alone without any attention.

· Dependence - it is a process of attachment to others based on the above abandonment and you feel constantly in need to depend on others no matter how capable you may be as an adult.

· Mistrust - it's also a history of your early childhood where you may have been abused physically or mentally as you were growing up, so you developed lack of trust as an adult.

· Vulnerability - you may feel that some major disaster may happen anytime to you.

· Emotional deprivation - the feeling that you will never get emotional support from others.

· Social exclusion - a feeling of isolation from others like family or groups.

· Personal defensiveness - a feeling that something is seriously flawed in you, and that you are incapable of managing.

· Failure- “I believe that I am incapable to succeed, school, work, or sports”. As a child you were made to feel that you are inferior to others in the family

· Victim - you feel that you are sacrificing yourself for others without any rewards.

· Perfectionism - is an obsession that you are not perfect, and you have high expectations of yourself and high standards impossible to achieve.

· Being special - you feel you deserve everything from others because you are very special and can do anything you wish.

· Grandiosity - a belief that you and no one else is special and you deserve all the attention from others.

Now, if you have recognised one or more of those patterns that you are living now, be aware that most if not all of those patterns have been learned in childhood as you were growing up within your family environment. How your parents lived and loved you, and understand how those patterns were imposed on you, and how you swallowed those behavioural patterns and now you feel they're part of your life. If you understand these life pattern/traps, you will note that there are three aspects present: 1: that they are lifelong themes. 2: they are self-destructive to you. 3: they struggle for survival or hold on to you for most of your life unless you become aware and change.

To make a shift from those patterns learned early in life, we must first become aware of them and how they are self-destructive to your ongoing growth and development as an adult. What you need to develop is taking a risk and experience, among other things, basic safety rules, develop emotional strengths with others and create a lifestyle of self-well-being.

Michael Meade, my mentor for many, many years, inspires me to develop a lifestyle by listening to his mythological stories that help me open myself to powerful themes for my journey through life and write memoirs about my journey as an ongoing experience.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

These days, there is a very popular trend to relax your mind called MINDFULLNESS. What is needed also is a way to care for your body and I am suggesting that you experiment with the following:

1. *Eat mainly plant-based food and products.

2. *Aim for a relatively ‘normal’ or healthy weight. (Check out the book: EAT – STOP – EAT.)

3. *Exercise regularly or at least walk for 30 minutes or more each day.

4. *Do not smoke and keep the alcohol content low when enjoying wine.

5. *Make social connections regularly.

In conclusion, the way to change and shift and grow is not easy as mentioned above. Yet, I am proposing here a way you may start your journey to self-awareness and personal development. Explore the following resources:

- Create a personal vision for yourself

Develop an empathic self-confrontation like looking in a mirror and sharing with yourself alone.

- Enlisting the help of others

- Selecting a therapist, preferably a gestalt therapist

We shall not cease from exploration.

And the end of all our exploring

will be to arrive where we started

and know the place for the first time - here and now.

T.S.Elliot

Here are some very useful articles' by Caroline Myss