Dear Reader,
I am reflecting on the past year and the events
that were special for the world and for all humanity. I am not repeating here
the many bad and good things that we all lived through and probably will live
in the same way in 2024, but I am, more interested here, is to promote a sense
of self reflection as individuals that
are living in the here and now.
My title for this blog is: REINVENT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE.
Some people may say to you: “why bother? You are OK, and if you attempt a
change, the result may be perilous” Then I may say: “Why not? What is the worst
that can happen? Take a risk and grow!”
So, I am suggesting here a process that is
rather simple if you take the suggestions and do your own thing. The task has
two parts: one is a mental shift process, and the other is a body wellness
process.
Mental shift process: It is well known by many
therapies and cognitive skills to enhance your mind, that all people have a
hooked or blocked lifestyle pattern called TRAPS. Here are some “traps” you may
study and find the one you may be hooked to:
1. * Are you constantly drawn to relate to
relationships that are toxic?
2. * Do you often feel unloved?
3. * Are you a helper type that helps others and not
yourself?
4. * Are you being paranoid regarding disease? Any
sore throat makes you feel like running to a doctor?
5. * Even if you are successful in your job and other
things, do you feel unhappy an unfulfilled in life?
In order to
stimulate your own reflections, be free here and now to imagine that one of
those aspects written below are some of the traps you may be experiencing:
·
Abandonment - this may have its roots in early
childhood where you have developed a feeling that your parents have abandoned
you and you were left alone without any attention.
·
Dependence - it is a process of attachment to
others based on the above abandonment and you feel constantly in need to depend
on others no matter how capable you may be as an adult.
·
Mistrust - it's also a history of your early
childhood where you may have been abused physically or mentally as you were
growing up, so you developed lack of trust as an adult.
·
Vulnerability - you may feel that some major
disaster may happen anytime to you.
·
Emotional deprivation - the feeling that you
will never get emotional support from others.
·
Social exclusion - a feeling of isolation from
others like family or groups.
·
Personal defensiveness - a feeling that
something is seriously flawed in you, and that you are incapable of managing.
·
Failure- “I believe that I am incapable to succeed,
school, work, or sports”. As a child you were made to feel that you are
inferior to others in the family
·
Victim
- you feel that you are sacrificing yourself for others without any rewards.
·
Perfectionism - is an obsession that you are not
perfect, and you have high expectations of yourself and high standards
impossible to achieve.
·
Being special - you feel you deserve everything
from others because you are very special and can do anything you wish.
·
Grandiosity
- a belief that you and no one else is special and you deserve all the
attention from others.
Now, if you have recognised one
or more of those patterns that you are living now, be aware that most if not
all of those patterns have been learned in childhood as you were growing up within
your family environment. How your parents lived and loved you, and understand
how those patterns were imposed on you, and how you swallowed those behavioural
patterns and now you feel they're part of your life. If you understand these life pattern/traps,
you will note that there are three aspects present: 1: that they are lifelong themes.
2: they are self-destructive to you. 3: they struggle for survival or hold on to you for
most of your life unless you become aware and change.
To make a shift from those
patterns learned early in life, we must first become aware of them and how they
are self-destructive to your ongoing growth and development as an adult. What
you need to develop is taking a risk and experience, among other things, basic
safety rules, develop emotional strengths with others and create a lifestyle of
self-well-being.
Michael Meade, my mentor for many,
many years, inspires me to develop a lifestyle by listening to his mythological
stories that help me open myself to powerful themes for my journey through
life and write memoirs about my journey as an ongoing experience.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
These days, there is a very
popular trend to relax your mind called MINDFULLNESS. What is needed also is a
way to care for your body and I am suggesting that you experiment with the
following:
1. *Eat
mainly plant-based food and products.
2. *Aim
for a relatively ‘normal’ or healthy weight. (Check out the book: EAT – STOP –
EAT.)
3. *Exercise
regularly or at least walk for 30 minutes or more each day.
4. *Do
not smoke and keep the alcohol content low when enjoying wine.
5. *Make
social connections regularly.
In conclusion, the way to change
and shift and grow is not easy as mentioned above. Yet, I am proposing here a
way you may start your journey to self-awareness and personal development.
Explore the following resources:
- Create a personal vision for yourself
Develop an empathic self-confrontation like looking in a mirror and sharing with yourself alone.
- Enlisting the help of others
- Selecting a therapist, preferably a gestalt
therapist
We shall not cease from exploration.
And the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time
- here and now.
T.S.Elliot
Here are some very useful articles' by Caroline Myss
