WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT --- MEN!
The evolution of masculinity
Most articles about ‘free speech’ stemming from the “politically
correct” club, identity politics and even the #Me Too movement, promote all
sorts of agendas to create a social obedience. Anyone who expresses him/herself
openly in the media, are immediately attacked for their work. Artists, writers,
political commentators etc, are persecuted for their ideas.
However, the group that is increasingly pushed against the
wall and must “watch their back” are men. In my recent REFLECTIONS, I noted
that there seems to be a strong rebuttal to this trend to ‘badmouth” men coming
(and from a woman writer) is the title of the book by Bettina Arndt: # MENTOO.
It is an open and well researched book about how the 'politically correct' mob,
are destroying masculinity calling it “toxic” including all sorts of negative
labelling attempting to emasculate men..
Another female author: Lionel Shriver states that “identity
politics could lead to ‘bad art’ and I would add that it also would destroy
relationships between men and women. Particularly damaging the young adults of
today. It appears that this ‘witch hunt’ against men is spreading all over the
icons of free speech – the universities. They are totally out of reality and
lacking any facts. “It is a rat’s nest of hysterical super sensitivity” states
the novelist Lionel Shriver. It is time to push back against this phenomenon of
politically correct and identity politics hysteria and write with open proven
facts about the absurdity of the claims against men. All people need to express
their frustration to this mediocre fad that is contributing to a climate of
social constraint in all aspects of creativity and identity. One example of
this absurdity is the requirement to use the pronouns: ZE and ZIR or CRISGENDER
in schools as a gender-neutral references to he and she.
We hope that those who
rise to this absurdity must work at all levels of society to stop this trend to
eliminate what Nature has developed over millions of years. That is: male and
female creatures on this earth including humans.
To begin this Reflection for this month, I am including here
my comments on Masculinity to the Australia Association of Counselling. Their
newsletter offered some ideas about counselling men using a variety of skills
to help men. However, few men are attending counselling for fear of being
labelled mentally incompetent. My own experience working with men over the past ten years, I became convinced that the various counselling (or therapy) ‘models
of practice’ do not help. Most theories are not designed to help men but are of a generic
nature. Men like and get a lot from being in a group gathering and sharing
their personal stories with other men listening. They benefit from initiation
rituals and men events that give them a strong identity and support to a path
of wholeness.
ACA Newsletter on "MEN AND EMOTIONS”
Having read your article about “Men and Emotions: From
Repression to Expression”, I congratulate the Association for the support you
have initiated to the issue of emotions and men and questioning the raising
gender zealotry in recent times that is contributing to the main cause of the
crises in men, particularly the young men.
“Today, any celebration of masculinity is limited to
praising men who do more housework, get more involved with the children, and
men who are able to cry, empathise with women issues and openly express their
‘soft feelings’.” As stated by Janet Albrechtsen in the Australian newspaper. Another
article by Peter Gonis states that: “Years ago they used a knife to castrate
young boys, today it is castration with anti-male language”. A third article that
is published in the RACQ magazine by Jessica Wilson, states that “stereotypes
of masculinity are harming Australian men”.
So, perhaps we are noticing a new social awareness that is
becoming more open about the crisis of identity that men (particularly young
men) that are undergoing in our modern age. It seems an error to demonise men as
psychologically sick or experiencing some mental health issues, but it is the
current so called “political correctness” that is relentlessly attacking
masculinity.
A study at the University of Queensland, has revealed that
young men who tend to conform to the traditional definition or stereotype of
manhood, are set up in so called “Man Box” as being bad and therefore are twice as likely to consider
suicide and several times are more likely to become violent towards others.
Naturally, these men develop poor mental health and do not
seek counselling but resort to binge drinking and traffic accidents. This study
concludes that the traditional definitions of masculinity are generational - meaning
that they are passed from grandfather to father and then to son. Thus, the
result is that there is a big pressure on men from the anti-male activists, on
one side and the old ideas about who is a male from the older family members
and old beliefs on the other side. Psychological counselling, therefore, will
not work.
The suggestion I am offering, based on ten years working
with men groups, is to develop emotional skills with young men led by elder
Mentors, and leaders that can bridge the gap (or a black hole) to enable men to
express their masculinity and their deeper emotional needs. Having experienced
hundreds of men groups, I am convinced that it is useless and even harmful to
reduce masculinity to an illness needing counselling that is not working and
adds to the collective psycho-cultural crisis.
It is about time that the Associations like the AIPC (
Counselling), Ganz(Gestalt), AASW (social work) and so on, begin to support
healthy masculinity and stop those who attack men as “toxic males” because this
attitude of castrating men psychologically and socially will not work but only aggravate the impact on
all our society.
Of course, we will have people of all genders that will be
offended by healthy premises about men, but their offences cannot erase the way
Nature selects all species and gives us gifts without much care about who may
be offended. Yet men today are expected to reject their masculinity to avoid
offending those who are always offended.Here are some consequences:
SOME NATIONAL STATISTICS ABOUT THE MEN CRISIS
1. One in
five men experience depression in a twelve-month period.
2. Three
quarters of people who die by suicide are men.
3. Six
Australian men between 15-44 take their own lives each day.
4. One in
five men will experience an anxiety condition due to stress.
5. Men are
less likely to seek help for mental health than women.
Indian god vishnu and consort
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