WHERE TO ADAM? - ON MEN’S LIBERATION
“Men's liberation has not
happened yet. Not only women, but men also need a great liberation movement –
liberation from the past, from the slavery of life-negating values and social
conditionings that have been imposed upon humankind by all the religions for
thousands of years. Priests and politicians have created a guilt-ridden man who
is alienated from himself, fighting a permanent inner war that pervades all
areas of his life – a conflict between body and soul, matter and mind,
materialism and spirituality, science and religion, man and woman, West and
East. Every man, from his early childhood, is being conditioned to function and
survive in an efficiency-oriented, competitive world, and he is pressured from
the moment he enters school to join the ambitious struggle and race for money,
success, fame, power, respectability, and social status. As a small child he
learns to adopt the goals and values of his parents and teachers, his peers and
those set up by the society as “role models,” without ever questioning them.
Thus, he becomes distracted from his true nature, his original being, and he
loses the capacity for unmotivated joy, childlike innocence, and playful
creativity. He is cut off from his creative potential, his ability to love, his
laughter, his lust for life. Before long, his senses are deadened, and his
emotional life is repressed. He loses access to his own innate feminine
qualities of feeling, gentleness, love, and intuition, and becomes a
head-oriented, efficient, unfeeling robot. Society teaches boys to grow up to
become “strong men,” to suppress their feminine qualities of softness and
receptivity, love and compassion.” OSHO
The First Man Adam is the
mythical man, and every man is Adam-like. Every childhood is in the Garden of
Eden. Every child is as happy as the animals, as happy as the primitive, as
happy as the trees. Have you watched a child running in the trees, on the
beach? – he is not yet evolved as a human. His eyes are still clear, but
unconscious. He will have to come out of the Garden of Eden. That is the
meaning of Adam's expulsion from the Garden of Eden – he is no longer part of
the unconscious bliss. He has become conscious by eating the fruit of the tree
of knowledge. He has become man. It is not that Adam that was once expelled;
every Adam must be expelled, again and again. Every child must be thrown out of
God's garden; it Is not a sin, it is part
of growth. The pain is that of growth. One must lose it to gain it again, to
gain it consciously. That is man's burden and his destiny, his anguish and his
freedom, man's problem and man's grandeur both.
The modern man is not suffering
from his own sins, as the so-called religious preachers go on saying. He is
suffering from centuries of cultural and religious dogmas stating what is the
“truth”. Family, school, and the human environment mould the child into a
reflection of their own beliefs.
FATHER
The father is trying to mould his
son in a certain way that is not natural to him. The father is making him
according to his own image, just as we say God did – he made man in his own
image. Every father is doing that. But who wants to be made by somebody else in
his own image? Everybody wants to be an individual. That is a very deep longing
and desire in every being, to be himself, and the father is not allowing him to
be himself. And the son is helpless because he is dependent for everything on
the father; hence, he must suppress himself, be obedient.
MOTHER
How to love a mother? A mother must
be loved in a totally different way. She is not your lover – and cannot be. If
you become too attached to your mother, you will not be able to find a lover. Because
of mother, a man couldn't move to another woman. So, it is part of growth that
one must move away from the parents.
A mother must encourage the man
to go away – that's what makes it delicate. A mother must make him strong so
that he can go away from her. That’s her love. Then she is fulfilling her duty.
If he is attached to the mother, then he is going against nature.
That’s why there is a very subtle
antagonism between the mother and the wife of her son. All over the world It must
be so, because the mother feels somehow that this woman has taken her son away
from her. And that’s natural in a way – natural, but ignorant. The mother should
be happy that some other woman has been found. Now her child is no longer a
child; he has become a mature, grown-up person.
Based on: Osho. What
Now, Adam?: The Book of Men
MEN
Where are the men – particularly
the young men today? What identity are they seeking? Is there a need for a new
ADAM?
Psychological research indicates
that being highly identified with one’d gender role (as masculine or feminine)
is detrimental to one’s health and wellbeing. This is especially true for men.
Because of the old image of strong self-sufficiency, outer orientation, and
body strength, men are reluctant to seek therapy, especially if the nature of
their difficulties is psychological. It is evident that more men are likely to
die of heart attack than women, suicide of men is almost twice as that of women
and alcoholism kills men more frequently than women.
Traditional, programmed early
belief systems inherited by many centuries, produce patterns that are no
longer relevant today. In a study where men were required to conduct tasks that
were considered specifically a traditional female task (like rolling a yarn
into a ball), reported confusion, lack of self esteem and rejected the task.
One suggestion by one researcher is to adopt the idea of ANDROGYNY. That may be
the new Adam of the future.
Androgyny is the ability to
experience the attributes that are ‘normally’ considered “masculine’ and
“feminine” without regard for their association to a sexual category. This view
of oneself is accompanied by a greater maturity in one’s moral judgement, a
higher level of self-esteem, and a greater flexibility in adapting to a variety
of social situations. Because Androgynous self-definition is neither masculine
nor feminine, one is better able to remain sensitive and aware of changing
constraints or social behaviours and adapt to those changes in a positive
manner. However, to become fully human (whole), we must help young men to be
able to synthesize both sets of characteristics masculine and feminine. It is
evident that for both men and women to live as evolved-mature human beings is
healthier and we trust that this is the future of humanity.
The responsibility of parents is
to be able to raise their sons with an appreciation of the social values but
also, it is equally important to raise sons who can stand against the
collective attitudes and develop a strong sense of their masculinity.
Your reflections are welcome.
