Thursday, June 28, 2018



In the last Blog Post I reflected on the art of dying stating that there are many ‘little deaths’ during our lifespan: Divorce, accidents, death of a loved one etc. Now this reflection is about the ‘death of masculinity’ in our current culture.

Just examining the daily press or news on the internet (see the TIME magazine recent cover), you will find many attacks on the current male identity by way of denouncing men as the cause of all the problems. An example is the activities at many of the Australian Universities (the seats of freedom of speech and higher learning) is the so called “Culture Wars”. University professors are fired just because they are advocating rational western values and freedom of speech and debate.

We read about ‘Gender Activists’ that distort the English language by advocating the elimination of “He” for men and “SHE” for women offering pronouns that have no relevance to human identity. In the Australian newspaper of June 5th, 2018, Kevin Donnell, author of the book “How Political Correctness is Destroying Australia” states: “Gender activists responsible for Marxist-inspired programs such as Safe Schools, argue that those who defend heterosexuality are guilty of being “heteronormative” and that gender-specific descriptions such as Husband and Wife must be replaced by Partner.” The fact that 98% of Australians (and most world free democracies) self-identify as male and female and argue that the natural order of things (life) is for men and women to procreate to ensure humanity’s survival is totally ignored. Also, they ignore the biology of all species where all living nature needs male and female to ensure the survival of this planet. 

Therefore, culture wars, PC and other attacks are creating an environment where men and particularly young men are losing a sense of Self and seek answers to how to behave as a man. To add to the trauma in masculinity, we are now reading scientific reports about the impact of biotechnology on men. Biotechnology is defined, as the “exploitation of biochemical processes, especially genetic manipulation of microorganisms for the production of antibiotics, hormones, etc.” Here are some facts related to the US research.

Here we have statistics on male sexual and reproductive system health that indicate the changes that have taken place so far:

* 30 Million men experience impotence in the United States, that is 25% of the adult male population of 120 Million.

* The erectile dysfunction drug market is expected to reach $3.4 Billion in 2019.

* Between 1973 and 2011, sperm count decreased by a whopping 60%. There are no stats available for the current date, but it is likely higher.

* Testosterone levels dropped by 20% in just 20 years. Testosterone is the primary male hormone, it plays a key role in the development of male reproductive tissues and also in muscle and bone mass and general health.

* The number of prescriptions for low testosterone supplements increased fivefold since 2002.
40% of men have low libido, or premature ejaculation. More men suffer from testicular cancer and enlarged prostates.  Gynecomastia, or “man boobs” affects up to 40% of young men.

* Many of the chemicals and toxins that are taken into the body with food, water and air have been designed for a specific biological effect:

They are endocrine disruptors, they mimic hormones in the body. They cause changes of the male reproductive system, making men more feminine.

Due to the bioaccumulation of these chemicals through the food chain, the public is exposed to high concentrations of these harmful substances. They are passed from the mother to the foetus and the process begins in the mother’s womb. In addition, men experience psychological problems like:

- men have gotten the worst deal psychologically in the USA and maybe elsewhere as well

- most therapists in US now are women that could have a blind spot in working with men

- women have had to learn to be assertive and men to be compassionate or passive

-  effects of circumcision on men is another study urgently needed today

- Genital developments are also influenced in boys by these endocrine disruptors, resulting in early puberty and smaller penises. This traumatises many young men

- concerns about men and women using porn to learn about sex is increasing

- the effects of the exposure of paedophilia worldwide now (including Hollywood, US Congress, Big Business elites, etc)….Most don’t know that this movement is worldwide and  has women involved as well as men.

 Here is a clear analysis of the emasculation of men in the USA as described by Paul Joseph Watson:

Whereas 50 years ago, advertising, Hollywood and television was filled with examples of positive masculine role models that young men could look up to, today’s entertainment industry routinely portrays men as clueless and bumbling oafs at best (think Homer Simpson, Everybody Loves Raymond, Married with Children) or at worst as aggressive sexual predators. Since advertising is primarily aimed at women, men in commercials are also now routinely depicted as either being emasculated losers or stupefied morons. Young men consuming this content grow up thinking that it is acceptable and even encouraged to aspire to these character traits. In doing so, they are robbed of their natural masculinity and find it extremely difficult to attract well-rounded women, who are rightly disgusted by such behaviour.

Second wave feminism was a creation of the establishment itself and at its core has little whatsoever to do with genuine concern about women’s rights. Radical feminism deliberately confuses gender roles and makes young men apprehensive about exercising their masculinity for fear of being seen as overbearing or aggressive towards women. This has contributed to an entire generation of “metrosexual” men who are promiscuous, unwilling to commit to a relationship and unable to fulfil a women’s basic needs for healthy companionship, destabilizing society and making it more difficult for women to find suitable long-term partners with whom to have children.

The radical feminist establishment promulgates the myth that men are paid more than women because of discrimination, feeding into feminist doctrines about patriarchal systems oppressing women in the workplace. In reality, the “wage gap” of around 19 per cent between the two sexes in the United States is explained by several reasons that have nothing to do with discrimination. The fact is that men work more hours and men seek less desirable jobs that pay higher. As a result, men account for 93% of workplace deaths despite being only 54% of the workforce. 94% of workplace suicides every year are also men.

Statists, collectivists and their mouthpieces in the media and the establishment claim that western men (in particular white men) cannot express a valid opinion on any issue related in any way to a “minority” (such as feminism or immigration) because they have “privilege”. The “privilege” talking point is a stunt through which Marxist liberals and feminists attempt to shut down free speech. They are asserting the ludicrous notion that a man’s viewpoint has no value because of the colour of his skin, his gender or his country of origin. This is an inherently racist position, yet it is routinely used by leftists to shout down their ideological adversaries and silence male voices.

In both divorce and child custody proceedings, it is widely acknowledged that courts heavily favour women and discriminate against men. Men are routinely hit with onerous alimony payments even if women can work and earn a good pay check. Men only receive custody of their children in around 10 per cent of divorce cases in the United States. The ironic thing about this system is that it has primarily been instituted by other men, emphasizing again how the war on men is being waged not by women, but by the primarily male-dominated establishment.

Dissident feminist Camille Paglia recently wrote a Wall Street Journal piece in which she warned:

 “What you’re seeing is how a civilization commits suicide.” Paglia was referring to how the emancipation of masculine virtues by the establishment threatens to create massive destabilization in society due to less and less men being able to fill traditionally “masculine” roles in the jobs market. Paglia points to schools cutting recess, the effort to deny the biological distinctions between men and women, and the left’s characterization of controversial opinions as “hate speech” as examples of how masculinity is being deliberately eroded. “Masculinity is just becoming something that is imitated from the movies. There’s nothing left. There’s no room for anything manly right now,” warns Paglia, adding that young men have, “no models of manhood.”

Whereas women have numerous safety nets to turn to if they become victims of domestic abuse, men have virtually none, even though domestic abuse against men is a huge and growing problem. In the UK for example, 44 per cent of domestic abuse victims are male, while more married men suffer abuse at the hands of their spouse than married women. While domestic abuse against women is constantly highlighted by the mass media, domestic abuse against men is a complete non-issue.

Conclusion – welcome the totalitarian society

A totalitarian society can only survive if the male population has been gelded, emasculated and disenfranchised. With this natural bulwark against tyranny removed, the elite can centralize power and pursue collectivist tyranny unopposed. Therefore, men and masculinity are under assault on every level – and why both men and women should join forces to fight back against this common enemy.

Paul Joseph Watson is the editor and writer for and Prison He is the author of “Order Out of Chaos”.

Rodin: The fall of Man

Wednesday, May 30, 2018




Is dying an art? Most if not all people are afraid of death. Yet, there are many ‘death’ moments in life. Little deaths like divorce, loss of business, failing a task or duty etc. If we could open our minds and seek solutions in other cultures (outside the Western), we can find that they have developed a “form” of understanding what it is the meaning of going beyond this life. For this purpose, we can define this form as an Art Form.

In this article or reflection, I examine the various ancient ‘forms’ or beliefs that point the way to the journey of no return back here but a return to THE ONE. That is the place, the wise sages say: It is the place that all Nature is destined to return. Those cultures that have developed the Art Form of dying point this journey as one of joy and pleasure that each individual may find on this path to the Ultimate.

We are familiar about death in the “West” and feel it as a way of non-being and afraid of our eventual end. We feel a great deal of anxiety and try to avoid thinking of death. Even sexual orgasm has been identified as “the little death” in our culture.

However, in  India and Tibet, the whole concept of death is quite different. The Indian culture follows the great wisdom of elders or gurus like Ramana Maharshi. He spoke often about the confusion we experience between the Ego or the controlling aspect of our being and the Self that is infinite.
Ramana states that there is nothing beyond Self nor apart from it. Knowing (understanding) this, we will not be afraid nor desire anything. The Self brings contentment and therefore inner peace.

The Self is always REALISED (Aware). We cannot deny our Being as consciousness – the Self. Admitting that we exist as the Self, we are already Realised or Aware.

In gestalt therapy we are taught about the Self – that it is the centre of the transformed heart. We are at the centre of our true Nature and our knowledge is not complete unless we act in the here and now and understand the experience of the here and now.

To define our concept of death as a transformation of Being, we need to examine other cultures and how they interpret this deep idea. We will examine, briefly the Sufi tradition, the Hindu tradition and the Tibetan tradition.

The Sufi masters consider the centre of the Self as located in the heart. They note four ‘layers’ of the heart:

-          The first layer is the Breast or the Locus of Action. It is the interaction between our Ego (personality) and our Soul.

-          The second layer is the heart proper. It is the centre of deeper knowledge and awareness.

-          The third layer is the inner heart that is closely related to the Heart proper. It is the place of deep and sacred knowledge. Here we feel the presence of Soul.

-          The fourth layer is the realm of the infinite Soul. It is beyond words, ideas, concepts, theories etc.

We may say that gestalt therapy works with all four layers while working with the Cycle of Awareness.


Hinduism is an Indian religion and dharma, or a way of life, widely practised in the Indian subcontinent. Hinduism has been called the oldest religion in the world, and some practitioners and scholars refer to it as Sanātana Dharma, "the eternal tradition", or the "eternal way", beyond human history. Scholars regard Hinduism as a fusion or synthesis of various Indian cultures and traditions with diverse roots and no founder. This "Hindu synthesis" started to develop between 500 BCE and 300 CE following the Vedic period (1500 BCE to 500 BCE).

Prominent themes in Hindu beliefs include (but are not restricted to) Dharma (ethics/duties), Samsāra (the continuing cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth), Karma (action, intent and consequences), Moksha (liberation from samsara or liberation in this life), and the various Yogas (paths or practices).
Purusharthas (objectives of human life) - Classical Hindu thought accepts four proper goals or aims of human life: Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha.

-          Dharma is considered the foremost goal of a human being in Hinduism. The concept Dharma includes behaviours that are in accord with the order that makes life and universe possible, and includes duties, rights, laws, conduct, virtues and "right way of living". Hindu Dharma includes the religious duties, moral rights and duties of everyone, as well as behaviours that enable social order, right conduct, and those that are virtuous.

Artha (livelihood, wealth)

     Artha is objective and virtuous pursuit of wealth for livelihood, obligations and economic prosperity. It is inclusive of political life, diplomacy and material well-being. The Artha concept includes all "means of life", activities and resources that enables one to be in a state one wants to be in, wealth, career and financial security. The proper pursuit of Artha is considered an important aim of human life in Hinduism.

         Kāma (sensual pleasure)

Kāma means desire, wish, passion, longing, pleasure of the senses, the aesthetic enjoyment of life, affection, or love, with or without sexual connotations. In Hinduism, Kama is considered an essential and healthy goal of human life when pursued without sacrificing the other three.

         Mokṣa (liberation, freedom from samsara)

Moksha is the ultimate, most important goal in Hinduism. In one sense, Moksha is a concept associated with liberation from sorrow, suffering and saṃsāra (birth-rebirth cycle). A release from this eschatological cycle, in after life, particularly in theistic schools of Hinduism is called Moksha. In other schools of Hinduism, such as monistic, Moksha is a goal achievable in current life, as a state of bliss through self-realization, of comprehending the nature of one's soul, of freedom and of "realizing the whole universe as the Self".


The ancient Tibetan concept of life and death is called the BARDO.

Buddhism existed in Tibet at least from the time of king Thothori Nyantsen (.173-300? CE), especially in the eastern regions. The reign of Songtsen Gampo (ca.617-649/50) saw an expansion of Tibetan power, the adoption of a writing system and promotion of Buddhism.

Bardo is a concept of a transitional state of Ego to Self -  in Buddhism three are three Bardos:

The chikhai bardo or "bardo of the moment of death", which features the experience of the "clear light of reality", or at least the nearest approximation of which one is spiritually capable.

The chonyid bardo or "bardo of the experiencing of reality", which features the experience of visions of various Buddha forms, or the nearest approximations of which one is capable.

The sidpa bardo or "bardo of rebirth", which features karmically impelled hallucinations which eventually result in rebirth, typically yab-yum imagery of men and women passionately entwined.
In the Liberation Through Hearing During the Intermediate State also mentions three other Bardos:

-          "Life", or ordinary waking consciousness

-          "Dhyana" (meditation)

-          "Dream", the dream state during normal sleep.

Together these "six Bardos" form a classification of states of consciousness into six broad types. Any state of consciousness can form a type of "intermediate state", that is, intermediate between other states of consciousness. Indeed, one can consider any momentary state of consciousness a Bardo, since it lies between our past and future existences; it provides us with the opportunity to experience reality, which is always present but obscured by the projections and confusions that are due to our previous unskilful actions.

Used loosely, Bardo is the state of existence intermediate between two lives on earth. According to Tibetan tradition, after death and before one's next birth, when one's consciousness is not connected with a physical body, one experiences a variety of phenomena. These usually follow a particular sequence of degeneration from, just after death, the clearest experiences of reality of which one is spiritually capable, and then proceeding to terrifying hallucinations that arise from the impulses of one's previous unskilful actions. For the prepared and appropriately trained individuals, the Bardo offers a state of great opportunity for liberation, since transcendental insight may arise with the direct experience of reality; for others, it can become a place of danger as the karmically created hallucinations can impel one into a less than desirable rebirth.

Metaphorically, Bardo can describe times when our usual way of life becomes suspended, as, for example, during a period of illness or during a meditation retreat. Such times can prove fruitful for spiritual progress because external constraints diminish.

Death and Rebirth
The concept of antarabhāva, an intervening state between death and rebirth, was brought into Buddhism from the Vedic-Upanishadic philosophical tradition which later developed into Hinduism.

Historically, Christian mysticism has taught that for Christians, the major emphasis of mysticism concerns is a spiritual transformation of the egoic self, the following of a path designed to produce more fully realized human persons, "created in the Image and Likeness of God" and as such, living in harmonious communion with God, the Church, the rest of world, and all creation, including oneself.

For Christians, this human potential is realized most perfectly in Jesus, precisely because he is both God and human, and is manifested in others through their association with him, whether conscious, as in the case of Christian mystics, or unconscious, about spiritual persons who follow other traditions, such as Gandhi. The Eastern Christian tradition speaks of this transformation in terms of theosis or divinization, perhaps best summed up by an ancient aphorism usually attributed to Athanasius of Alexandria: "God became human so that man might become god."

Threefold path

Going back to Evagrius Ponticus, Christian mystics have been described as pursuing a threefold path of purification, illumination and unification, corresponding to body (soma), soul (psyche), and spirit (pneuma). In 869, the 8th Ecumenical Council reduced the image of the human to only body and soul but within mystics a model of three aspects continued. A short description of the three paths will give us an idea of the support the Christian mystics have in dealing with death issues.

The first, purification is where aspiring traditionally Christian mystics start. This aspect focuses on discipline, particularly in terms of the human body; thus, it emphasizes prayer at certain times, either alone or with others, and in certain postures, often standing or kneeling. It also emphasizes the other disciplines of fasting and alms-giving, the latter including those activities called "the works of mercy," both spiritual and corporal, such as feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless.

The second phase, the path of illumination, has to do with the activity of the Holy Spirit enlightening the mind, giving insights into truths not only explicit in scripture and the rest of the Christian tradition, but also those implicit in nature, not in the scientific sense, but rather in terms of an illumination of the "depth" aspects of reality and natural happenings, such that the working of God is perceived in all that one experiences.

The third phase, usually called infused or higher contemplation (or Mystical Contemplative Prayer).  In the Western tradition, it refers to the experience of oneself as in some way united with God. The experience of union varies, but it is first and foremost always associated with a reuniting with Divine love, the underlying theme being that God, the perfect goodness  is known or experienced at least as much by the heart as by the intellect since, in the words 1 John 4:16: "God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him."


In his book of talks, OSHO describes the way existence and life are formed and how we keep taking life as a given and forget the eternal Soul. Here is his quote:

“Existence is given to you. Existence is a gift. Life must be earned. When existence turns upon itself, it becomes life. Existence has been given by the whole, you have not done anything for it. It is simply there, a given fact. When existence becomes life… The moment you start existing in a conscious way, immediately existence becomes life. Existence lived consciously is life. Life is a great challenge, an adventure into the unknown, an adventure into oneself, an adventure into that which is. If you live an unconscious life, if you simply exist, you will always remain afraid of death. Death will always be just somewhere near the corner, hanging around you. Only life goes beyond death.

Existence comes, disappears. It is given to you, taken away. It is a wave in the ocean – arises, falls back, disappears. But life is eternal. Once you have it, you have it forever. Life knows no death. Life is not afraid of death. Once you know what life is, death disappears. If you are still afraid of death, know well you have not known life yet. Death exists only in ignorance – in the ignorance of what life is. One goes on living. One goes on moving from one moment to another, from one action to another, completely unaware what one is doing, why one is doing, why one is drifting from this point to that point.

The body is a flux, like a river – continuously changing, moving. It has nothing of the eternal in it. Each moment the body is changing. In fact, the body is dying every moment. It is not that after seventy years suddenly one day you die. The body dies every day. Death continues for seventy years (or more), it is a process. Death is not an event, it is a long process.

If you are identified with the body, of course the fear will be constantly there that death is approaching. You can live, but you can live only in fear. And what type of life is possible when one’s foundations are constantly shaking, and one is sitting on a volcano and death is possible any moment? Only one thing is certain – that death is coming – and everything else is uncertain. How can one live? How can one celebrate? How can one dance and sing and be? Impossible. Death won’t allow it. Death is too much and too close.

So, there are those who are identified with the body. These are the materialists. They cannot live. Desperately they try, of course, but they cannot live. A materialist only pretends that he is living, he cannot live. His life cannot be very deep; it can only be superficial, shallow – because he is trying to live through the body which is continuously dying. He is living in a house which is on fire.”

Osho. Nirvana: The Last Nightmare: Learning to Trust in Life (p. 163). Osho Media International. Kindle Edition.

Stages in dealing with fear of death

Today most people are living in their body and do not connect with the eternal soul. This creates fear of ending the body and then nothing is left. Pema Chodron has a very good advice, in four stages, about dealing with fear of death. Do this exercise every day:

First Stage – Put yourself in a state of stillness and openness. Sit still and just feel everything. Remember that you are not starting empty, you are currently feeling the emotions that are already in you.

Second Stage – Slowly, be aware of your breath and visualize yourself exhaling dark and heavy energy and inhaling it as white, light and cool energy. Imagine, as you inhale, the feeling of tight spaces and proceed with exhaling while visualizing open spaces. Feel your body open, as if the air gushes out from all the pores on your body.

Third Stage – Feel the ‘energy” materialize as you picture your daily experiences. Breathe in your worries, your pain, or your grief and breathe it out as relief and confidence.

 Fourth Stage – Widen your visualization to include the world: all the nations who worry because of war, all beings who experience pain, and the world, which grieves for the loss and destruction that happens to it. It is in this stage where you acknowledge that the suffering of one is the suffering of all.

Pema Chodron: Lessons Learned from Pema Chodron Books


There are many roads to travel in this life and death issue. Many books, theories and teachings have been explaining about “the way”. However, we have not, (as yet), found anyone coming back from that dead place and giving us the real story. So, to end this reflection, I chose the poem of the great mystic and Sufi master, RUMI:

“If you want to learn theory
Talk with theoreticians. That way is oral.
When you learn a craft, practice it.
That learning comes through the hands.

If you want dervishhood (mysticism), spiritual poverty
And emptiness, you must be friends with a teacher.
Talking about it, reading books, and doing practices
Do not help. Soul receives from Soul that knowing.”

Monday, April 23, 2018



This month’s reflection is coming to me while reading stories about the Australian “Bloke” that is in danger of being extinct. Some young men recall their grandfathers (and some fathers) and feel great admiration for the strong male roles they represented some 50 years ago.

In an article entitled “The Old Aussie bloke is a dying breed, but what sort of man is taking his place?” By 37 years old Dylan, a construction worker in Queensland,  states: “They were dependable men, stone solid. They stood up against the storms that life would throw at them and powered on. Their hands were calloused, their faces weathered but, they were so strong. They broke complex problems into simple solutions and they did not complicate their lives with trivia. Those guys had life figured out because they had to figure out how to survive.”

Later in the article he reflects on what has changed: “we have gone from that really strong, solid identity where we fitted in to where we are living in these cities and urban spaces and wandering: where do I fit in now?

Am I meant to be a hipster?

Am I meant to be the strong guy?

Am I meant to be a sporty guy?

Am I meant to be a tradie?

We had the metrosexual movement and now we are into political correctness movement where others tell you how to talk and how to think. So, who are we? What is a man meant to represent in this socio-cultural environment? Young men now just retreat into their little shells inside themselves and feel safe.

Men’s lives have changed quickly and dramatically in the past 40-50 years. So, now men ask: where is our place in the culture? Where are the places where we can relax and not feel like we are saying or doing something wrong or stupid? Or being policed about how politically incorrect we are.

Men just want to go to some place and exhale and say stuff and not have people yell at them and wanting to change them.


I am thinking about the idea developed by the Greenpeace organisation. They fight for a better environment but also offer to their “enemies” alternative solutions to correct the damage they are doing to the planet. They offer better and more sustainable solutions to sea pollution and earth pollution.

We do not need ‘Beta’ men to replace ‘Alpha’ males but we need to distil from both parts the best, so men can develop a new image of themselves. We want to help men to develop their soul.


One way to begin to develop Soulcraft is to connect with reason and understanding (awareness). That is, develop inner understanding. Reason varies from person to person and changes over time with study and life experiences. The mature reason of a wise man is an ally of the deep inner understanding and it is situated in the heart. The heart is the symbol of Soul. The Soul is the lamp that allows men to see, really see. Here are some exercises to open the heart centre that the Sufi masters developed over hundreds of years.

1      -   Remember God the Creator of all.

2     - Use blessings to open the heart. Visualise a door and it is opened to reveal the heart.

3     -   The heart is a sunflower. Make a drawing of a sunflower and imagine it following the sunlight.

4     -   Imagine your heart as a sacred temple – meditate on this image.

Here are two more suggestions for men to practice in a sacred space, a mountainside, a bush or a desert extracted from the book by Bill Plotkin:


Personal, self-designed ritual enables us to speak, again, the same language as animals, trees, rivers, and mountains, the same dialect as soul and spirit, the same magical words as the sacred Other. A two-way exchange, conversation requires us to both hear and speak. We hear the Other through the numinous declarations of dreams, deep imagery, inner voices, sudden insights or revelations, synchronicities, powerful emotions, love, death, the voice of God, and epiphanies of nature. These communications from within (soul) and without (nature) and both/neither (spirit) constitute the Other’s way of speaking to us. We make it a conversation by way of ceremony.

An essential soulcraft skill, the art of self-designed ritual deepens the conversation between the conscious self and the Other. Being self-designed, some elements of these rituals originate with the individual and are not merely the enactment of a tradition.

Personal rituals need not be elaborate or complex. Most often the core component is something as plain and spare as a hand releasing a slip of paper into fire. Although simple, the action is profound, perhaps capturing the central mystery of a life — or opening the way to that mystery.


There are a thousand ways to tell the story of a life. How you tell your story determines, in part, what story you are in fact living and what it might become: a story, for example, about blind ambition and revenge, or about redemption and love. A soulcraft approach to your own story asks you to see your life in the light of the universal dynamics and archetypes of humanity. Consider crafting your life story as a personal myth, framing the events of your life in a symbolic perspective. Compose an autobiography told in the third person, a story symbolically authentic to the central themes of your life. Have it take place anywhere and anytime that fits best with your myth. Add or subtract or modify characters from your life if this aids in portraying the thematic truths of your life. Have yourself represented by one character, two, or several. Give yourself a symbolically significant name such as Golden Warrior or Night Horse. You might want to begin your myth with “Once upon a time. . .” If you wish, have your myth include the full story of your life (past your present age), all in the past tense, including the way it would likely end as the predominant themes play themselves out. The historical facts don’t matter! Think and feel — and write — mythically. As you write, remember that good myth honours the whole story as essential. Your early wounding and later losses are as necessary to your story as the victories and loves. The story transforms itself through the gift you recover at the centre of your sacred wound, and you will find the inner understanding.

Plotkin, Bill. Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche (p. 205). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

Saturday, March 24, 2018



I will begin my reflections, this month, by introducing a Canadian psychology professor who has recently become the centre of debate in the global media. His name is Dr. Jordan Peterson. He just published a book entitled: 12 RULES FOR LIFE – An antidote to chaos.

One of his central themes is the crisis in the West today. The Western society is suffering a major crisis of masculinity because male kids are encouraged from birth on by an apologetic society full of ‘political correctness missionaries’ to believe that traditional masculine qualities like physical strength, aggressiveness, self-reliance etc, are negative and should be eliminated and instead the feminine qualities like willingness to cooperate, sharing and networking are a way forward for all human race. Jordan Peterson offers scientific support to the claim that forcing men, without reason, to become more agreeable, soft, less competitive etc, will most likely to be the death of masculinity and along with that the death of our society.

 Here is a quote from the book: “These science-blind assumptions about men do real damage. If we assume that cognitive ability doesn’t matter and build a society on ruthless ideas of meritocracy where only the cognitive elite can succeed, we will produce a broken system that will produce many, many losers. If boys and men are repeatedly told that masculinity is essentially “toxic” and in need of suppression, this may produce a society of angry, repressed men. At every level of our civilization, human biology is relevant, and engaging with it thoughtfully could not be of more critical importance. If we can’t be honest about the biological aspects of our nature now, how will we possibly deal with debates going into the future? Discussions around gene editing, cognitive enhancement, even artificial intelligence and automation are more crucial than ever. But if we cannot even agree on the basic scientific facts about our own fallible nature, how can we possibly agree on the right ways to proceed?” A suggestion:

Dr. Jordan Peterson writes: “Start with yourself. What good are you? Get yourself together so that when your father dies you’re not whining away in a corner and you can help plan the funeral. And you can stand up solidly, so people can rely on you. That’s better. Don’t be a damn victim.”

He’s preaching strength and resilience during a time when victimhood is the primary means of gaining status and respect. Sociologists call this “victimhood culture”, and many argue that we’re currently living in one. In victimhood cultures, respect is given to those who publicise their oppression, victimisation and, ultimately, their lack of responsibility over their lives.

Victimhood is, after all, antithetical to responsibility. A victim is someone who isn’t responsible for their affairs. Dr Peterson’s response: “Life is an existential catastrophe and a tragedy.” We’re all victims in life. You’re not owed anything because you’re a victim. That’s not the answer.

The only way to overcome victimhood is to attend to your responsibilities and return to the genuine meaning in your life. Don’t reward someone for being a victim, reward them for adopting responsibility amid victimhood. Reward them for not acting like a victim despite being one. Admiration always beats pity.

My generation knows a lot about “rights”, “oppression” and what’s unfair about the world. This, to our credit, has made us very accepting and tolerant. But Dr Peterson says that discussion about “rights” has crowded out the (more important) discussion about “responsibility”. So it’s not surprising that young people are starving for that discussion. Of no fault of our own, the current generation is taking longer to enter adulthood. And we know it. We still feel like kids well into our twenties.

Dr Jean Twenge’s research shows that we’re less likely to leave the house without our parents. We’re more likely to spend time by ourselves. We’re taking longer to get our driver’s license. We’re less likely to have a part-time job in our teens. We’re starting dating at a later age. We rely on our parents for everything. And contrary to popular belief, we drink less and do fewer drugs.

Dr Peterson’s success is proof that the so called “me generation” is desperate to break free from the unhealthy reliance we have on our over-protective “helicopter parents”. His followers are tired of relying on other people. They want to be the kind of person others rely on. In other words, they want some responsibility.

You might be asking: Why young men though? Why aren’t young women flocking to him to the same degree as young men?

Well, he attracts a lot of young men on the peripheries of society. Young men who aren’t particularly successful and spend a lot of time on the internet but have been told they’re the beneficiaries of an oppressive patriarchal system which bestows upon them “male privilege” — their ticket to success that somehow isn’t working.

He states: “We’re so stupid. We’re alienating young men. We’re telling them they’re patriarchal oppressors, denizens of rape culture and tyrants-in-waiting. It’s awful … It makes me sad, deeply,” he said in an interview with the BBC.

Dr Peterson treats young men like individuals. He recognises that life is difficult and depressing for everyone. He acknowledges their emotional struggles when a lot of people don’t and he’s providing them with a solution. He doesn’t talk down to them. And he doesn’t lecture them about any advantages they may hold. Unlike young women, young men rarely confide emotionally in their friends. Instead, they quietly look to mentors and authority figures. And they’ve found one in Dr Peterson, whose essentially just providing the emotional support to young men that young women have always provided each other.

While young women were taking care of each other, encouraged and inspired by their feminist sisterhood, lost and isolated young men have nothing. Why do we have “women studies?” at Universities and no “Men Studies”?

Peterson sees young men as victims of a society that hasn’t prepared them to be men, where postmodern, identity group politics has leaked out of the campuses and into the elementary schools, where being an energetic boy is considered a mental health defect or a ‘bully’.

What they find in Peterson is a guide and someone who is frank, and honest about reality. Peterson doesn’t simplify the world’s problems, he acknowledges them as complicated and that has given him credibility among his fans, who are navigating the new world of ever changing sexual politics, be it at school, work or the dating sphere. His lectures combine his expertise in clinical psychology, along with religious themes and Jungian psychiatry. He skips postmodern and ideological meanings and gives answers in metaphors that run the range from philosophy and religion to Greek mythology.

Peterson painting the world as a dark place isn’t surprising for Generation Xers, who came of age during the Cold War and the possibility of nuclear annihilation.

Peterson would suggest meeting in a coffee shop in public if you were to pursue an online relationship and avoid bars and sex for at least four dates.

This statement led to one interviewer on Vice News to guffaw and react with shock. “Not even a bar on a first date?”

Young men have found a public advocate, after years of real or imagined blamed for being the cause of all the world’s problems; and for not meeting the expectations of anyone. The millennial male is neither sufficiently manly, or is toxically masculine, depending on the given think piece, magazine article or girlfriend.

But watching and reading Peterson, and analysing what his audience is attracted to most, it suggests young men are crippled by a prolonged adolescence. They were never given the tools to progress to maturity or the tests to gain the confidence to take their place in the world as adults.

As Peterson’s popularity has grown, so have the number of women who have begun watching his videos and lectures. It seems adolescence is a cage that spares neither sex when it enters adulthood, and despite the supposed sophistication of young people, there’s a lack of maturity.

I found Dr. Peterson’s book very inspiring, particularly his explanation of BEING - This is SOUL work. He states: “You act as if existence might be justified by its goodness – if only you behaved properly.  And in that decision, that declaration of existential faith, that allows you to overcome nihilism, and resentment, and arrogance. It is that declaration of faith that keeps hatred of Being (soul) at bay and that Faith is not just a childish belief in magic. That is ignorance or even wilful blindness. It is instead the realisation that the tragic irrationalities of life must be counterbalanced by an equally irrational commitment to the essential goodness of Being” (Soul).

Watch Dr. Peterson on youtube! (on Political Correctness) (Au leftist interview)

Tuesday, February 27, 2018





I spent over 10 years working with men by starting men groups, leading men gatherings and training men leaders. Now, currently, I am observing the many attempts in our culture to demean masculinity.
My first 3 days men group was in the outdoors of the Blue Mountains in NSW in 1990. The theme was called “FROM SLAVE TO HERO – a meeting of men”. At that time, we were 50 men coming to celebrate masculinity and share the stories of our growing up in a rigid society and culture of ignorance about the masculine qualities of strength, courage, aggression, self-reliance and competitive team work.

Today we read in the newspapers about the good thing for women seeking male partners is to have a “BETA” male vs an “ALPHA” male. As if those definitions, based on animal behaviour of males, is a nice choice. “We love Beta males was a statement of a couple of young women in the February Currier Mail (Sunday edition). They wanted to meet men who displayed the qualities of cooperation, sharing and being soft.

Dr. Jordan Petersen, a well-known psychiatrist and author and speaker on YouTube states: “We,
 (the Western Society) are suffering of the crisis of masculinity. Boys are encouraged from birth, by an apologetic culture, to believe that traditional (DNA based) qualities like strength, forcefulness, competition and self-reliance and team work are negative and destructive. He stated further:
“This notion is so stupid that it is very hard to know where to begin. Forcing men to become more agreeable, nice, less competitive will certainly be the death of masculinity”. He blames the left-wing academics for the ‘mumbo-jumbo ’of political correctness that is impacting public life. Why do we have “women studies” at the universities but no “men studies”. Most Universities that offer Social Studies courses are not obsessed with intelligent conversation but instead we are having an ideological conversation, says Dr. Peterson.

As a retired academic, I still remember clearly the conversation I had with a couple of the so called “radical feminists” of the 1990’s who were obsessed with changing children books using “he/she or some other neutral term. They also supported the extreme Feminist movement ‘manifesto’ to eliminate all ‘violent’ and ‘aggressive’ commentaries in all children’s fairy tale books. Fortunately, the idea was not successful.

So, today, more than ever, Men work is needed to guide the discussion at all levels of men meetings about how young men can be encouraged to free themselves of the burden of their cultural pressures and their childhood oppressions, to accept their failings and celebrate their successes and take control of their lives and stop being responsible for the burden imposed by political correctness and a culture of down grading what is a man. Do not suppress but express yourself honestly and authentically.


It is clear that men are at the centre of a huge crisis. The older men are attacked for their “inappropriate behaviour” - certainly, some are truly deserving this public exposure and punishment by law. However, the media is ‘painting’ all men with the same ‘evil brush’ and the young men are lost and seeking answers.

 I am indebted to Dr. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian academic that I quoted earlier to some suggestions he has for the men of this generation:

“Treat yourself as if you were someone responsible for helping and caring. Consider what would be truly good for you. This is not “what you want “nor “what would make you happy” – for “Happy” is, by no means, not synonymous to good. You need to look at the future and think: “what my life would look like if I were caring for myself properly”?

You must determine where are you going, so that you can bargain for yourself, so that you do not end up resentful, vengeful and cruel. You must keep the promises you make to yourself, and reward yourself, so that you can trust and motivate yourself.

Do not underestimate the power of vision and direction. There are irresistible forces, able to transform what might appear to be unconquerable obstacles into traversable pathways expending opportunities.

Start a discipline you care for. Define who you are, Refine your personality. Choose your destination and articulate your Being.” J.B. Jordan “12 Rules for Life: an antidote to Chaos” Allen Lane, (Penguin Books), 2018.

“The thousand and one statements that are made every day – “Isn’t that just like a man”…”Women are more sensitive than men” – have to be swept from the minds of everyone, like the tattered autumn leaves from the garden path before it is possible to think clearly at all”
Margaret Meade, 1949


Sam Keen wrote a book called FIRE IN THE BELLY. I was very taken by his stories about fatherhood and wrote an article about my story of being a father. Perhaps one meaningful answer to the ‘moral relativism’ that is sweeping the West now is the idea of being a good father. He states:

"There is no way for recover wholeheartedness, to become passionate and truly free, without rediscovering the central importance of the family." To rediscover the family, we, as men, must rediscover ourselves as fathers and parents, and place this role of the many roles we play at the centre of our lives. It is within the context of the family that we live our lives, and it is here that we receive our deepest wounds and most profound joys”. (Fire in the Belly)

As fathers, we give our children many gifts along with many wounds. Paradoxically, the wounds and the gifts are two sides of the same coin. When we give time and attention, we heal the wound of abandonment. When we acknowledge a child's accomplishments, we give the gift of confidence. When we support the free expression of feelings, we give the gift of self-esteem. In essence, if we show with our dedication and time, our love, attention, nurturing, it will demonstrate that we truly value our children and then they will come to value themselves and us.

We must be willing to be available to our children as often as we can, and to be with them as often as practicable. There is no substitute for time with children. They know it and so do we. As fathers, we can no longer afford to use such excuses as "college expenses," "personal growth," "bigger houses," " more cars, gadgets, or other toys" to justify our abandonment of our children. For at a deep and profound level all men are the fathers of all children whether they are biological or not. We must go beyond the personal to the communal, and work to heal all of the damage our forefathers still perpetrate through us. Such damage is evident in the many violent acts that men perpetrate even today.

When I conducted many men workshops, over the past ten years, I discovered that I am not really teaching about how to be a man, but learning how to be a man! When men asked me “what to do to become a better father to my children”, I had only one answer: “become aware that YOU need to change”. Change must come from within and not from the cultural, religious and social introjects. One important option to develop yourself as a father, that has been largely overlooked for centuries, is the importance of fatherhood as a spiritual practice.

Yaro Starak
Yaro Starak - Gestalt Psychotherapist.
Men leadership training
Author of books on Gestalt Psychotherapy & Group facilitation

Sunday, January 28, 2018



“There is a skin or hide between ourselves and our inner being. And in the West that skin is very thick. Inside us there is a sea and that sea is our inner life, your spiritual life, and your sexual impulses – everything you have gotten from the memory stores of evolution. Then there is the outside world made of buildings and automobiles. And these two worlds can’t rub against each other. It is too painful. Therefore, you develop a hide exactly like a cow develops a hide. You do not want to rub her guts against the barn” (Robert Bly)

Today is Australia Day and I am reflecting how many of my wise teachers like Robert Bly, Joseph Campbell, Jorge Rosner, James Hillman, Michael Meade and so many more have influenced me with their books and speeches at many of the meetings I attended. So, where are they now? What is kept in my soul are memories and how they have guided me in my own journey.

So, I went to the ideas place that is reflected on the symbolism that all wisdom keeps and transfers throughout centuries to all cultures. The multitude of early people in the world intuitively felt and produced symbolic images in many ways. Just recall the Christmas Island sculptures that were somehow placed all around the island as if calling the spirits or gods to enable the people to live there. Australian indigenous people painted the wandjinas and Mexican Aztecs built pyramids and so on. Many other cultures around the world symbolised their soul and spirit. All art forms can be understood as a symbolic representation of SOUL.


Joseph Campbell, the mythologist, defines symbol as: “A symbol, like everything else, shows a double aspect. We must distinguish, therefore, the ‘sense’ and the ‘meaning’ of the symbol. It seems perfectly clear to me that all the great and small symbolical systems of the past functioned simultaneously on three levels. The Corporeal or waking consciousness, the Spiritual or dreaming and the Ineffable of the Unknowable. The terms “meaning” can refer only to the first two, but these, today, are in the charge of science – which is the province of signs and not symbols. The ineffable, the absolutely unknowable can be only sensed (intuited) This is the province of art which is not necessarily an “expression” but also a quest for and formulation of, experience evoking, energy-waking images. A symbol, therefore, is a visual image representing an idea – a deeper indicator of a universal truth.”

Symbols have multiple meanings while signs have only one. Human cultures use symbols to express their specific ideologies and beliefs that represent aspects of their specific culture. Therefore, the meanings of symbols are culturally learned. Their complexity and deep meanings are the source of the soul energy.

Dr. James Hillman, in his book THE FORCE OF CHARACTER (1999), writes about the way we understand soul as character. That which lasts beyond the body and mind and how science has taken charge of the two (biology & psychology) and left behind the third(soul). He states:

“Modern psychology, regardless of school, understands the assimilation of events into a "me" to be a function of character. The schools of psychology use other words for character, such as "personality," "ego," "self," "behavioural organization," "integrative structure," "identity," "temperament." These substitute terms fail to characterize the styles of assimilation that are the hallmarks of individuality. We each respond to the world differently, handling our lives in a particular style. The word "character" implies a bundle of traits and qualities, habits and patterns; it requires descriptive language such as we find in character references, letters of recommendation, primary school report cards, scripts and novels, performance criticism, obituaries, etc. So, "ego," "self," "identity" are bare abstractions, telling us nothing of the human being they supposedly inhabit and govern. At best, these words refer to the unifying sameness of people while neglecting their unique differences.

It is refreshing to discover that some of the oldest and most basic ideas of philosophy--Same and Different, Form and Matter--are actually at work in our daily lives, even in our bodies. I find it a delight that these old-fashioned woolly principles are immediately practical and can be discussed as bodily facts. Why must we be exhorted to build character and strengthen character when character is already a given, the staying power that keeps us who we are and holds our bodies to their form? Imagine the body as an ancient philosopher, the body as a place of wisdom--an idea already announced in the book titles of two medical specialists, Walter Cannon and Sherwin Nuland.

Cannon in the 1930s and Nuland in the 1990s both say the body's physiology knows what it is doing. There is a wisdom at work. The idea of character makes more understandable this governing wisdom. Moreover, if we regard character as more than a collection of traits or an accumulation of habits, virtues, and vices, but rather as an active force, then character may be the forming principle in the body's aging. Aging then becomes a revelation of the body's wisdom."


Humans differ from other living beings in having a soul capable of reflecting on itself, thereby providing it with intellectual and moral capacities associated with spiritual beings. Once the existence of soul in the other-than-human world was rejected, it was difficult to sustain any acceptance of soul in the human world. Such was the situation throughout the nineteenth century and throughout the industrial civilization in the twentieth century. Then, in our psychological studies, we began to realize that nothing made much sense without the presence of soul. Acceptance of the soul dimension of the natural world was begun in the studies of C. G. Jung. He saw the need for restoring the human soul in its integral presence with the vital powers of the earth. Further, in our association with indigenous peoples, we began to appreciate the profound sense of realism they manifested in their ritual communion of the human soul with the deeper powers of the universe. In these earlier cultures, the universe was experienced primarily as a presence to be communed with and instructed by, not a collection of natural resources to be used for utilitarian purposes. The winds, the mountains, the soaring birds, the wildlife roaming the forests, the stars splashed across the heavens in the dark of night: these were all communicating the deepest experiences that humans would ever know. The inner life of humans, the joy and exaltation we experience in celebrating our place in the great community of existence, these depended on our experience of a universe that provides us with both our physical and our spiritual nourishment. All this was recognized as the world of soul.

In our modern world of scientific insight and technological skills, we have thought that we could do without these spirit powers of the universe. Although we know more about the universe, we have less intimate presence to the universe than any people ever had. The indigenous peoples of Australia, with fewer life possessions and less life security than any other people we have ever known, are more profoundly in communion with the world about them than we, in the industrial world, are in communion with the North American continent.

We are threatened, as never before, by natural elements such as the atmosphere, the water, the soil, and various living forms that we have abused. We are threatened by the enemies we have made with the very efforts that we have made toward national security. Not knowing how to relate to the natural world, we are uncertain in our relations with the human world. We are now finding that without the assistance of the invisible world we become confused and even frightened in times of crisis. We do not know how to call for assistance in these moments of difficulty or how to ask for healing beyond the ordinary medical procedures. We are lacking in people who are sufficiently skilled in guiding us through our individual or community crises. We have never spent days and nights fasting on a mountaintop crying for a vision to guide, strengthen, and protect us throughout our lives. (Bill Plotkin. SOULCRAFT: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche. New World Library. Kindle Edition.


There are several experiential qualities that accompany the call. Joseph Campbell, as quoted earlier, notes four of them. First, if it is a true call, you will know that responding to it is, in fact, not an avoidance of responsibility, but rather a facing of something difficult, something unknown and frightening that summons you. Far from looking to you like an opportunity for escape, a call feels more like a compelling need to walk into the mouth of a whale, or out into the night and into a storm. You have a profound sense that something essential is waiting for you amid a wilderness and your one true life depends on your being willing and able to find it. Second, Campbell reminds us of a paradox at the heart of the call: this strange thing that calls to you somehow feels “profoundly familiar to the unconscious—though unknown, surprising, and even frightening to the conscious personality.” It has the character of déjà vu, but it is even more disorienting; you know you belong to it even though you have never before encountered it and can’t really explain anything about it. Third, you have an astonishing and inexplicable sense that the chapter of life you had been living is suddenly over, whether you wanted that ending or not, and usually you have not. What formerly was meaningful becomes “strangely emptied of value.” Fourth, the call is almost always unexpected, and unwanted. Yet you feel summoned by destiny, as if your own future has grabbed you by the collar and is tugging you forward, as if you have been volunteered by life to a task you hadn’t sought. You feel as if your “spiritual centre of gravity” has been transferred “from within the pale of society to a zone unknown.”

To conclude the final part of this reflection is a call to the modern “contemporary” psychotherapists to come back to the deep aspects of soul that is represented in the symbolic story. Art, Dance, theatre, meditation, exploring nature and work in groups or alone on the centre of our being.

Gestalt Art Therapy Centre is one place where you can explore art and  soul!