WHERE TO ADAM? - ON MEN’S LIBERATION
“Men's liberation has not happened yet. Not only women, but men also need a great liberation movement – liberation from the past, from the slavery of life-negating values and social conditionings that have been imposed upon humankind by all the religions for thousands of years. Priests and politicians have created a guilt-ridden man who is alienated from himself, fighting a permanent inner war that pervades all areas of his life – a conflict between body and soul, matter and mind, materialism and spirituality, science and religion, man and woman, West and East. Every man, from his early childhood, is being conditioned to function and survive in an efficiency-oriented, competitive world, and he is pressured from the moment he enters school to join the ambitious struggle and race for money, success, fame, power, respectability, and social status. As a small child he learns to adopt the goals and values of his parents and teachers, his peers and those set up by the society as “role models,” without ever questioning them. Thus, he becomes distracted from his true nature, his original being, and he loses the capacity for unmotivated joy, childlike innocence, and playful creativity. He is cut off from his creative potential, his ability to love, his laughter, his lust for life. Before long, his senses are deadened, and his emotional life is repressed. He loses access to his own innate feminine qualities of feeling, gentleness, love, and intuition, and becomes a head-oriented, efficient, unfeeling robot. Society teaches boys to grow up to become “strong men,” to suppress their feminine qualities of softness and receptivity, love and compassion.” OSHO
The First Man Adam is the mythical man, and every man is Adam-like. Every childhood is in the Garden of Eden. Every child is as happy as the animals, as happy as the primitive, as happy as the trees. Have you watched a child running in the trees, on the beach? – he is not yet evolved as a human. His eyes are still clear, but unconscious. He will have to come out of the Garden of Eden. That is the meaning of Adam's expulsion from the Garden of Eden – he is no longer part of the unconscious bliss. He has become conscious by eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. He has become man. It is not that Adam that was once expelled; every Adam must be expelled, again and again. Every child must be thrown out of God's garden; it Is not a sin, it is part of growth. The pain is that of growth. One must lose it to gain it again, to gain it consciously. That is man's burden and his destiny, his anguish and his freedom, man's problem and man's grandeur both.
The modern man is not suffering from his own sins, as the so-called religious preachers go on saying. He is suffering from centuries of cultural and religious dogmas stating what is the “truth”. Family, school, and the human environment mould the child into a reflection of their own beliefs.
The father is trying to mould his son in a certain way that is not natural to him. The father is making him according to his own image, just as we say God did – he made man in his own image. Every father is doing that. But who wants to be made by somebody else in his own image? Everybody wants to be an individual. That is a very deep longing and desire in every being, to be himself, and the father is not allowing him to be himself. And the son is helpless because he is dependent for everything on the father; hence, he must suppress himself, be obedient.
How to love a mother? A mother must be loved in a totally different way. She is not your lover – and cannot be. If you become too attached to your mother, you will not be able to find a lover. Because of mother, a man couldn't move to another woman. So, it is part of growth that one must move away from the parents.
A mother must encourage the man to go away – that's what makes it delicate. A mother must make him strong so that he can go away from her. That’s her love. Then she is fulfilling her duty. If he is attached to the mother, then he is going against nature.
That’s why there is a very subtle antagonism between the mother and the wife of her son. All over the world It must be so, because the mother feels somehow that this woman has taken her son away from her. And that’s natural in a way – natural, but ignorant. The mother should be happy that some other woman has been found. Now her child is no longer a child; he has become a mature, grown-up person. Based on: Osho. What Now, Adam?: The Book of Men
Where are the men – particularly the young men today? What identity are they seeking? Is there a need for a new ADAM?
Psychological research indicates that being highly identified with one’d gender role (as masculine or feminine) is detrimental to one’s health and wellbeing. This is especially true for men. Because of the old image of strong self-sufficiency, outer orientation, and body strength, men are reluctant to seek therapy, especially if the nature of their difficulties is psychological. It is evident that more men are likely to die of heart attack than women, suicide of men is almost twice as that of women and alcoholism kills men more frequently than women.
Traditional, programmed early belief systems inherited by many centuries, produce patterns that are no longer relevant today. In a study where men were required to conduct tasks that were considered specifically a traditional female task (like rolling a yarn into a ball), reported confusion, lack of self esteem and rejected the task. One suggestion by one researcher is to adopt the idea of ANDROGYNY. That may be the new Adam of the future.
Androgyny is the ability to experience the attributes that are ‘normally’ considered “masculine’ and “feminine” without regard for their association to a sexual category. This view of oneself is accompanied by a greater maturity in one’s moral judgement, a higher level of self-esteem, and a greater flexibility in adapting to a variety of social situations. Because Androgynous self-definition is neither masculine nor feminine, one is better able to remain sensitive and aware of changing constraints or social behaviours and adapt to those changes in a positive manner. However, to become fully human (whole), we must help young men to be able to synthesize both sets of characteristics masculine and feminine. It is evident that for both men and women to live as evolved-mature human beings is healthier and we trust that this is the future of humanity.
The responsibility of parents is to be able to raise their sons with an appreciation of the social values but also, it is equally important to raise sons who can stand against the collective attitudes and develop a strong sense of their masculinity.
Your reflections are welcome.